I heard we made out
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
