Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
