Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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