So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
