you didnt know i had herpes?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
God, I missed his penis.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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