is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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