Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
