Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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