I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
