I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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