I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
