I just made out with a guy for $7.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize