My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The best revenge is premature balding
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
