drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
