Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
