i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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