I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
