Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
