...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
