Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
