To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
