I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
