dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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