Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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