Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
