I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Ladies don't puke and tell
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
