were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
