Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
