happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
