so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
