i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
