Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
