Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
