im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
