Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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