Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
