you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
