my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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