ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
