3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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