woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
