we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
