Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My pussy is not your playground.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
