What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You can't special order awesome
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
