So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
