I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
