No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
