All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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