you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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