Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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